Waking up alone was never my thing. From the struggles that have defined me, to the victories that have elevated me, i have become this thing. This thing has no title but instead is defined by it's essence. Clothed in insecurity and fragranced with regret this thing has become me. I look through the cape of suppression to the skies and hope to see God, my creator, actively observing my existence. But when I look up I don't see my origin of life looking back at me. Where are you Lord? Have you forsaken me, or have you simply stepped back to observe my retention of your lessons? I wish that I felt complete. I want to fully understand who I am but my pure naked body is trapped and held captive by my emotions. I've dreamt of cutting off the bounds that bind. No... Burn them. Utterly destroy them to insure their historical revolt, that is so characteristic of them, would be spoiled. As my black brothers brought blaring bullets to the bigger but not better black opposers, I need to spray a solid layer of destruction over my fears, eliminating them, and ending their reign in my life. Their emotional superiority in my life has over stayed it's welcome. It's time for me to take control of my own life.